Innocence

2010-03-06T02:56:00.000-08:00

Guard duty today , damn it ! Stupid warrant officer , i make sure you not be here anymore ! Fcuking hell .. Going for my shift at 9 plus . Life is in a mess right now , and im stuck here helpless . I really dontknow what to do lors , everything is so confusing to me . Ahhhhs , who the hell can help me right now so that i can be on the right path ? Where is the princess that im looking for ? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME !!

Love,
thyEMOkid™

2010-02-22T05:20:00.000-08:00

I really dontknow what the fcuk you want from me . I already tried my best to give you whatever you want le , now you wanna say i didnt give in ? WTF ! You are the one who leave me , not i who leave you . Now you have stead or gan stead i dont fcuking care le . Cos im going to find a new stead and treat her better than you do . So dont try to get in the way , get a life .

Love,
thyEMOkid™

2010-02-18T08:42:00.000-08:00

Things arent happening as I expected . What should i do now ? My heart and mind are confused . Should I wait or to continue with my life ? You say that im irritating to you and stuff . But do you know how much i want and need you by my side right now ? Where are you and what are you doing ? Enjoying life , maybe . This is my retribution bahs , for hurting you much in the past . That's why you are treating me this way . I dont believe that you can give up on our love so fast . You may have the mindset of wanting me back i might be wrong . I dontknow at all . But till now i still have this gli,pse of hope in me that you will be back to my side and be forever mine . Although it seems so impossible now , i still wish you will be back .

Laopo , iloveyou . Even if now the world ends , you will be the one i love the most in my life . Today is our 10th month anniversary , just wanna wish you happy anniversary even though your love for me is dead . You will always be the person i wanna love , muacks !

Love,
thyEMOkid™

2010-02-17T08:54:00.000-08:00

Had a dream just now and it was so real , as if it is going to happen . But when i woke up , everything was just a dream ; an illusion that is causing me to have heartache now . Why am i having this kind of dream ? i don't understand . i have make my mind to move on , but why is heart dreaming about things between you and me still possible ? ahhs , damn it man ! i hate it ! i wanna get out of this pain ; this vicious cycle that is causing so much of heartache to me right now . putting too much of feelings to love someone is a mistake .. if you are ever coming back to my blog just wanna say i still love you and hoping you will return although it is impossible ..

2010-02-16T11:47:00.000-08:00

You are really such a bitch and flirt , do you think that i dont wanna wait for you ? You make me this way , being heartless and cold-hearted . Now you find someone else to stead with ? What is this ? You are the one who is at fault and then now im the one who is getting the punishment , this is so unfair . It is not suppose to happen this way , it should be the other way round ; you are the one should be receiving the pain and heartaches im having now . Although i know i hurt you too much last time , im changing . But you didnt even wanna give yourself to see it , and then now im the one who is carrying all the burden . Fcuked up to the max ! I believe one day you will sure regret that you give up on me , i can assure you with my life at stake . No one can really tolerate your behaviour , especially your unreasonable side like i do . Trust me , if you still continue to be like that , you will never find anyone that can last a relationship with you at all . No guy will one a girl to have a over-possessive and unreasonable behaviour . One more thing , there is a limit to one's patience . Dont ever try to climb onto someone's head , you will regret doing it .

Since everything has come to this stage , i will move on with my life and find someone better than you to make you fcuking regret your decision of leaving me , Trust me , i will do that . Just wait AND see only ... I can safely tell you this , i can do something wholeheartedly if i want to . The next person who is my stead will get all the love she can get . Although i still have feelings for you , i believe time can prove to me that you are just a anonymous passerby who tries to screw up my life when i can save my time and money to spend it on someone else that is more worthy for me . There is a saying ' the time taken for you to forget the person who you love the most is the time taken for you to love him/her ' . So what if i still have feelings for you ? I SWEAR that even if it takes me a lifetime to for you , i will do that for the sake of my happiness . Because when i come to think of it , you are really too much le and i cant tolerate your nonsense anymore . 'BYE' is the word im going to give you .

Love,
thyEMOkid™

2010-02-10T04:32:00.000-08:00

Why cant i just let go of you and continue with my fcuking life ? Why must you appear in my mind whenever i feel lonely and depressed ? I really wanna forget you , but i just dontknow why i cant . You hurt me so much , yet i still wanna forgive you and love you . Am I mad or what ? I really dont understand myself also . I will try to forget you and let you go so that i can continue with my life and find someone who wanna treasure and love me . I swear i will make you regret that you throw me aside like a toy and let me shatter into pieces . Am i stupid ?

Love,
thyEMOkid™

2010-02-09T08:12:00.000-08:00

Now in camp waiting to be assign job ! Nothing much to do and its late at night now , rawrs ! CAN SLEEP . Sians , finally can book out soon . Coming Sunday , i think . If possible i wanna book out on Saturday lors , cos reunion dinner mahs . Hmmms .. dontknow what will happen this week . Just hope that everything will go smoothly bahs . And my dear , imissyou . Break for 2 weeks le , cant forget our memories at all . I will think of you whenever i do something . You are just too important to me le . I wanna give up on you , since you dont love me anymore , but i cant . I dontknow why too , maybe i put in too much emotion le bahs . Then it is too hard for me to pull out from this broken relationship which caused me to be shattered and stranded . Haiish , dontknow what to do now also . To end of this post , i wanna put in one lyrics from F.I.R .

把爱放开-飞儿乐团
当你开始追寻你要的自由
放开我们紧握的手带走我的爱和天空
我不知所措我以为我会懂
我们的爱~我们的爱~
当我独自走到时间的尽头
回忆和我擦肩而过带走你的爱和笑容
我无力承受最后的一点心痛
我们的爱~我们的爱~
把爱放开把手放开如果你的心已不在
把爱放开不再等待你的温柔是一片空白
把爱放开把心打开
这次我决定走出回忆重来
就让我彻底地伤再彻底地醒过来
终于明白爱已不再
从今以后再也没有什么能去依赖
我还有什么期待
把爱放开把手放开如果你的心已不在
把爱放开不再等待你的温柔是一片空白
把爱放开把心打开
这次我决定走出回忆重来
就让我彻底地伤再彻底地醒过来

Love,
thyEMOkid™

2010-02-07T01:32:00.000-08:00

Everything really come to an end . This time is for real , and no turning back . Why must break be always the solution in every relationship when problem occurs when there are always other alternatives to solve ? I really dont understand . I endured and gave in so much , but everything still come to an end . I know i may be wrong at times , but i admit it . But why cant you forgive and forget ? I know its your nature to be like that . Remember what you promised ? You promised you will change . In the end you didnt , and everything got worse . And now , you are leaving me .

Where is the promise we make when we had the ring ? Where is the promise we had when we started out first quarrel and promise to change ? Everything was just illusion and i actually put my heart and soul to love you so much . In the end , i got hurt the most . I believed and trusted you so much , and you broke my heart .

Haiish .. Talking to you on phone is just a nightmare to me . You dont care about me anymore . Now you are going to be belonging to someone else . Hate to imagine it , but i have no choice . I can only say : goodbye my dearest .

Love,
thyEMOkid™

2010-02-06T22:05:00.000-08:00

I never thought that it will hurt me so much . Now i feel the pain , and its devastating . Why must it so painful ? Why cant things just go smoothly and wont have so much of trouble ? I really dont understand . Haiish , ihateyou . I really hate you . But iloveyou at the same time . How i wish time can reverse to the day we just meet and restart everything . But its impossible now , maybe you have already found someone better and go for him le . I can only be stranded here , wounded . Goodbye , my love .

Love,
thyEMOkid™

2010-02-06T19:09:00.000-08:00

转机-潘玮柏

凌晨的飞机
最孤单的飞行
从相机里面检视着回忆
背景是残影
我哪里都不想再去
到哪里都触景伤情
把遗憾托运
易碎的情绪我手提

想腻在一起
我却身不由己
你每次伤心我每次缺席
遥远的距离
我以为我们的爱情
誓言里还会有转机
没想到陌生机场
写下结局
各自的转机

我放不过我自己
转一圈回到了原地
眼泪是一种提醒
我还爱你
让一切归零

我放不过我自己
仍相信爱会有奇迹
人群中我找到你
我抱着你
我们的爱情
还未完待续

想腻在一起
我却身不由己
你每次伤心我每次缺席
遥远的距离
我以为我们的爱情
誓言里还会有转机
没想到陌生机场
写下结局
各自的转机

我放不过我自己
转一圈回到了原地
眼泪是一种提醒
我还爱你
让一切归零

我放不过我自己
仍相信爱会有奇迹
人群中我找到你
我抱着你
我们的爱情
还未完待续(我放不过我自己)
转一圈回到了原地
眼泪是一种提醒
我还爱你
让一切归零

我放不过我自己
仍相信爱会有奇迹
寻找我们的转机
我抱着你
我们的爱情
还未完待续(我放不过我自己)
眼泪是一种提醒
让我们一起回忆
我们的爱情

我放不过我自己
眼泪是一种提醒
我们的我们的
我们的爱爱爱爱

我放不过我自己
眼泪是一种提醒
让我们一起回忆
我们的爱情

我放不过我自己
眼泪是一种提醒
我们的我们的
我们的爱爱爱爱

this song delicated to that person . hope you will know it bahs , i still love you .

2010-01-30T06:48:00.000-08:00

Hmmms .. Stuck in camp . Kena SOL for 21 days , meaning till CNY lors . SIANS TO THE MAX ! But i will try to plead for lighter sentence bahs , hope can go home and have reunion dinner with my mum . Long time didnt sit down and have dinner with my mum le . She got work , and im in army . Weekend almost totally dont see each other . How to have dinner together ? So i really wanna take reunion dinner as an opportunity to sit down and improve the drifted distance between my mum and me .

Just broke up with her a few days ago . I shouldnt be feeling sad , but why ? Why is my heart aching so badly even if i have the mindset of moving on ? She is the one who is unreasonable and keep dominating this relationship . She promised me not to contact back Jeremy , but in the end she did and still have the cheek to tell me that she have feelings for him ! WTF LAHS ! I really dont understand why must things happen in this manner ? Going 1 year le lehs , and she still cant understand me . Then what am I suppose to do ? Keep giving in to her ? No way !

Im really heartbroken lahs , all thanks to her . I had planned for valentines' le , but my efforts have gone to vain now . Im left here by her , shattered . Abandoning me when someone else comes into her life . Will someone come and treasure me and dont treat me like a toy or trash ?

Love,
thyEMOkid™